The female orgasm can seem as sneaky as it is unpredictable. In fact, it can be really elusive. Difficulties with the orgasm are not about not having orgasms, they can also be a question of not getting the sort of orgasms you want, maybe that you do not come at the same time as your partner, or that you can only come in a specific position.

Here I would like to point out that this, in itself, does not have to be a problem, as a special technique may be just what you need to use to have an orgasm. But, from this point, you can develop other paths to orgasm, so you are not limited to this one particular method.

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In general, to be able to achieve orgasm, you often need a more positive attitude to sex and to your own body. You need, entirely only, to be more sexual. Most sexual pleasure is in the brain, and it is the brain that determines how your body reacts and behaves. A positive and open attitude to yourself and your sexuality is a good start.

There are at least four different types of orgasm for both women and men, at any rate, according to researchers Lila V. Powers and Michael E. Perry, who for several years studied the orgasm in laboratory experiments. According to them, there is a basic orgasm, a pelvic orgasm, a genital orgasm, and a combination orgasm.

What is called the base orgasm is felt throughout the body but is not followed by ejaculation in men. The pelvic orgasm is felt mostly in the pelvis, as its name implies. A genital orgasm is felt primarily in the genitals, and the combined orgasm unites the three former types and ends with ejaculation, for both men and women.

We cannot be sure that Powers and Perry have the absolute truth about the orgasm. Orgasms can vary significantly in strength, intensity, and duration. They can come one at a time or can be multiple, one after another. You can seldom influence how an orgasm is going to feel.

However, everyone can work on it and improve their ability to enjoy themselves.

Orgasm is based on desire

Lack of sexual desire is probably one of the most common problems that a sex counsellor encounters. There are a great number of lost desires around the world. There are missing kisses and embraces, the initiative is not taken often enough, and relationships are in crisis when partners are at different levels of desire in their lives. But can you find a desire that disappeared among the everyday humdrum and undone washing up? Can you shake life into old relationships where you know your partner like the back of your hand?

As a matter of fact, you can. You just need to know-how.

Lust, however, is a whimsical guest in our relationships. It cannot be predicted, and sometimes it is stubborn, refuses to be there when you want it. One thing you can be sure of if you have a longer relationship is that your desire is never at its highest all the time.

It is sensitive to external circumstances such as stress, illness, and significant life-changing events. Desire is often a good barometer for how the love in the relationship is doing.

The five most important steps to a female orgasm can be divided into mental training, self-stimulation, positions, G-spot, and sex toys.

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Here follows a useful review of these five areas.

1

Learn to get
excited! 

Without arousal, there is no orgasm.
It is this excitement that is the be-all and end-all in your quest for pleasure.

  • Find out what turns you on

    Start fantasizing. Create sexual images in your mind.

  • See yourself as an erotic creature

    If you are not turned on, you will also not particularly enjoy sex, however exciting it is.

  • Relax

    Tensions in the body and mind are a sure obstacle if you are trying to have an orgasm.

  • Learn muscle relaxation

    With deep, slow breathing and full-body relaxation, you can float away in your mind.

  • Make friends with your body

    You are excellent as a sexual being regardless of any extra ounces here and there. If you can love your body as it is, you can also feel at home in it and relax.

  • Get to know your private parts

    Take a mirror and learn what you look like between your legs. Feel free to use a guide book! Learn where the clitoris is. Do not forget the inside of the thighs and the area just next to the outer labia when caressing yourself or being caressed. The clitoris has offshoots just there, and stimulus there works wonders. Set aside half an hour to have fun - whenever you can. Make sure that you have peace and quiet around you and that you are not disturbed.

  • There is no right and wrong!

    Don't compare yourself to other people's experiences and orgasms. Your sexuality is as individual as is your personality. Only you know what feels best for you.

  • Do not fixate on the orgasm

    Don't be too goal-oriented in your quest, concentrate primarily on enjoyment. Discover your sexuality and have fun - then comes the orgasm.

2

Touching yourself -
important lessons

  • The clitoris is the key

    Start with a light touch around the clitoris, only after a while touching it more directly. The technique involves rubbing from side to side, making small circular movements, and light massage of the clitoris, the inner labia and the inside of the thighs.

  • A vibrator does this very efficiently

    Some women also like to insert objects into the vagina while masturbating and caressing their clitoris. As orgasm approaches, the clitoris withdraws slightly. Still, you just have to keep on stimulating the same place, even if it becomes almost unbearable.

  • Now increase the pressure and rub harder and more intensely

    When pleasure reaches its peak orgasm comes, but how it feels is completely individual, varying from person to person.

3

Find the best position for you!

Five intercourse positions that give the best number of orgasms

  • Clitoral contact

    The man lies on top of the woman but holds his body a little higher than hers so that the penis does not penetrate so deep into the vagina. In this way, the base of the penis will stimulate the clitoris. The woman presses her abdomen against the man with small rhythmic movements. She can also squeeze her vaginal muscles around the penis.

  • The twins

    The man lies on his back with bent legs, while the woman lies above him in the same position and keeps her feet on his. She controls the rhythm by moving herself towards him. Many women find this position extremely exciting.

  • Doggy style

    The woman stands on all four with bent legs, propped up on her hands. The man takes her from behind.

  • Wheelbarrow

    The woman lies (on her stomach or back) on the bed while the man stands on the floor between her legs. He can lift her up so that he can really make it nice for her.

  • The mistress

    The woman rides on the man, squatting. He can also sit up and have her over his lap. This is a very sexy position as both hands are free to caress each other.

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4

Make friends
with your G spot

The G spot is the path to orgasm for many women. Properly treated, it can give a lot of pleasure and wet fountain orgasms. Here's a quick guide to G spot orgasm:

The woman's G-spot is about two inches up inside the vagina, on its front wall - make a "come gesture hither" with your fingers, and you will feel a spongy area. Bingo! However, it is important to be excited before the G spot can be found. Otherwise, the touch may feel uncomfortable, and a troublesome need to urinate may arise.

The G spot can be difficult to find with just the fingers, and the penis may be too small to provide the right pressure. Special G spot rods exist for this reason. With the help of these, you can actually magically locate your G spot - either on your own or with the help of your partner.

The G spot should be stimulated with some force - then the woman will enjoy maximum pleasure.

G spot stimulation often leads to fountain orgasms - a wonderful bonus.

5

Sex toys should be in every woman's chest of drawers...

You do not have to rely on a partner to "give" an orgasm - you can easily sort this out yourself. Great orgasms too! Many women say that they have discovered completely new dimensions of sexuality thanks to all the new technical aids. The sex toy industry is constantly evolving to refine sexual pleasure.

Many of the new generations of vibrators and dildos provide orgasm quickly and efficiently. For example, the new clitoral vibrators that stimulate with the help of sound waves, or why not the old and reliable Magic Wand that released the orgasmic ability of thousands of women. There are rods for all tastes: butt plugs, rabbits, vaginal weights and geisha balls, nozzles and pumps, massage oils and orgasm creams.

As an added bonus, there are now even ejaculating dildos - with a wet ejaculation for those who want one.

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Other articles by Katerina Janouch

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Married women’s five most common sexual fantasies

t is incredibly common for women to fantasize about sex with another woman. It is a question of curiosity but perhaps also that we push away our bisexual side.
What are the risk rates of getting infected with an STD?

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I had a one night stand with a guy I never met before. I gave him oral sex, and we had no condom. Is there a significant risk that I have become infected with something and how is it noticed?
Non-bodily orgasms – of course they exist!

Non-bodily orgasms – of course they exist!

Not all orgasms are purely corporeal, that is, bodily. There are some odd, lesser-known types of orgasm, which are more about the brain and less about purely physical sexual stimulation.

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