Working with a partner who isn’t as interested in sex as you are

By Alicia Goodspring

Relationships are a journey, and just like any journey, there are ebbs and flows along the way. Whether it be sexual, financial, or emotional, issues will arise that will trend to threaten the stability of your relationship.

Sexual issues are one of the most significant of these problems, and they face more people than you know. In this piece, we will work you through how you can help improve a situation where your partner isn’t as excited about sexual activity as you are.

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Quite a lot of things control the sexual appetite of a person. However, the most prominent reasons why people might not be so excited about having sex could be depression, medical issues, stress, and fatigue.

When you are approaching your partner about possible sexual issues, make sure that you don’t do so in the bedroom. That is not the best possible place, because you both feel vulnerable and exposed. Instead, get somewhere neutral where you can both be private and where no one can disturb you.

It is crucial for you to express yourself sensitively, and don’t blame the other person or be aggressive. Sharing your worries is vital here, but you also need to do so in the context of a relationship (as opposed to making things look like your partner might be causing an inconvenience to you).

With that done, keep the following instructions in mind

Situation 1

If you are both able to pint out what the problem is (perhaps depression, stress from work, tiredness, etc.), try to work to get a solution. The change should be made in increments, and if you need to, you can always seek help from a medical professional.

Also, remember that therapy isn’t a bad thing. Therapists help with stress management, and they can also help you to identify some anxiety and depression undercurrents that you might not have known. As you work to get a solution, remember that the love and intimacy between you should not be damaged or compromised.

Situation 2

If you both aren’t able to find the problem, then things are a tad tricky. As long as you acknowledge that there is a problem, however, you can try different things to diagnose what is wrong.

Start with the physical plane; schedule exams to determine if it is low libido or some other medical condition, or whether you are just feeling the side effects of some medications.

Then, you can look into if you have any psychological blocks that are impeding your sex drive.

Situation 3

If your partner doesn’t seem to be too keen on discussing the issue, then start by not taking things personally. In the end, remember that this isn’t about anyone failing the other person. You just both need to acknowledge that there is something wrong, and own that as a couple.

To get out of this, you will need to take the lead. By doing that, you get to bring the issue into the light, and use the process of working through it to strengthen the bond that is between you two.