How to plan same-sex wedding

By Alicia Goodspring

Weddings are always beautiful occasions; it is about two people who love each other and have decided to stay with each other forever. No bride or groom will ever be the same. So, each wedding is unique; gay grooms, lesbian brides, or heterosexual bride and groom are all beautiful and unique.

However, planning a same-sex wedding is different from planning a wedding for a heterosexual bride and groom. Usually, heterosexual couples follow some traditional rules and etiquettes when it comes to weddings. If you want to have a conventional wedding or follow the etiquette, that’s fine! But, you can also decide to have a beautiful wedding where you create the rules that suit you and your partner.

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These are the guides to plan a same-sex wedding

  • The Proposal - When you both feel that you are ready to tie the knot, one of you can go out and buy a ring. If it’s a diamond ring you want to see on your partner’s finger and you can afford it, why not go out and buy it? If you have no idea how your partner would like to be proposed to, you can ask them. You can also give your partner some hint on the kind of engagement/wedding ring that you want. 

    Once the ring is on your partner’s finger, the next question to ask yourself is, ‘will our marriage be legal’ in this state? Some states will not issue a marriage license to same-sex couples, so you have to be sure that your marriage will be legal in your country before you tie the knot.  

  • Do I want to plan this wedding myself or hire a professional - Planning a wedding could seem simple? Still, it could also be a tedious task, especially if you haven’t planned a wedding before. If you and your partner decide to plan the wedding yourself, that’s great! However, you can hire a professional same-sex wedding planner, sit back and relax!

  • Wedding dresses or tuxes? - Some lesbian brides wear tuxes, while some wear wedding gowns. Also, some gay grooms wear tuxes or their country’s traditional wedding attire. Shopping for wedding dresses, tuxes or traditional clothes is exciting; ensure that you have fun! If you want to put tradition aside, that’s okay too; after all, it’s your wedding, and there are no rules for same-sex marriage!

  • Personalize your parties - You can have two bachelorette parties or two bachelor’s parties. You should also decide if you want to have a traditional bridal train or groomsmen or best man. It’s your wedding party, so do whatever makes you and your partner happy! If you decide to cast away all the glamour and have a quiet, small wedding, that’s fine too! 

  • Sitting arrangements are essential - You can have a wedding where anyone can sit wherever they want, or you can assign seats to your family and friends. Traditionally, the bride’s family sits on the left while the groom’s family sits on the right. Now that we have two grooms and two brides, it could cause some confusion. So the best thing is to have everyone sit together. Or assign seats with a unique sign on the back of the chairs.

  • Make a Budget for your wedding - Whether you decide to plan the wedding or not, you must have a budget. Sticking to your budget is crucial, sit with your partner and your vendors/planner and outline all you want for the wedding. Will the wedding gowns or tuxes be rented or bought, will you go to the wedding venue in your cars or rented cars. How many tiers of cake are you getting and will there be a special menu for the guests? 

    Are you going to have an outdoor wedding or you will rent a hall? Will the room be decorated by a professional, and will there be ushers to serve the guests, or will the reception be a buffet? You also have to choose a theme for your wedding.

  • The invitations- You need to plan a guest list, or you might forget to send an invite to some important people. You also need to know if both families will be at the wedding or not. As for your colleagues and friends in the LGBT community, you have to put their names on the list too, or they may never forgive you for not inviting them to your wedding. However, it would help if you remembered that it is your wedding, do not invite anyone you are not comfortable around. You also have to decide on the number of guests, so you don’t run out of food.

  • The wedding procession- Traditional heterosexual weddings have so many moments that are determined by gender. Usually, the groom waits for the bride at the altar while the bride walks in on her father’s arm. There is also the chief bridesmaid and the best man who stands behind the bride and groom at the altar. The bride carries a bouquet, which she is expected to throw later. The best man or chief bridesmaid might make a toast to the couple.

    You and your partner can walk into the church from opposite sides or meet in the middle. If two same-sex brides want to walk down the aisle on their father’s arms, no rule says they can’t. If a gay groom wants to wait at the altar for his groom, sure he can! Walking into the church together, holding hands is also beautiful! 

  • Ensure that your LGBT friends are comfortable - The wedding should be at a place that your LGBT friends will be comfortable. Happy guests will make your wedding fun for everyone. 

    Weddings are about two people who love each other and intend to declare that love for each other in the presence of their friends. In conclusion, to plan a same-sex wedding, you need to propose, decide if you want to plan the wedding or hire a professional and you also have to determine if same-sex marriage is legal in your state, etc. 

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