How to tell if a woman is into you as a Lesbian

By Alicia Goodspring

Is there a woman you like, but you are afraid to approach her because, well, you don’t know if she is a lesbian or into you? Bi or lesbian women don’t come onto you the way a man does. One of the challenges that lesbians face is the inability to tell if a woman is into them or just being friendly.

A lesbian wouldn’t whistle when you walk by. She won’t leave everything she is doing and rush to you so she can ask for your number. Lesbians are cautious about who they approach to avoid awkward situations.

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Contrary to what straight people think, you can’t always tell if a woman is a lesbian. You may get the vibe from her that she likes you; she might touch your arm or brush against you when she talks to you.

However, she may not be a lesbian or bi-curious. Some lesbians are very feminine; they hang out with guys and have a bunch of male friends, while some tomboys may not be lesbians. Some straight women act all touchy-feely with their friends because that is just who they are. You can’t determine a person’s sexuality by the way they dress. So you see the problem now.

You might say, “Wouldn’t it be easier to approach a woman and ask her if she likes you?”

It is not as easy as you believe, especially if the woman you like is a co-worker, a superior at work, or even your best friend. If you had misread their intentions, things could become awkward between you.

So, before you tell a woman that you like her, you need to know if she is a lesbian, and you also need to see if she likes you too. This isn’t like picking up someone in a lesbian bar or being introduced to a lesbian woman by a mutual friend.

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Tips on how to tell if a woman is into you as a lesbian

  • Mutual attraction- When a woman likes you, it’s not hard to tell. You can see the look in her eyes, the way she leans into you when she is talking, and the way she seems flustered or flushed. She will always find a way to be close to you. You can tell that the attraction is mutual. An older woman may be able to keep her emotions in check, but she’s likely to give you the green light when she knows you are also a lesbian.

  • She asks you a lot of questions-When a woman keeps asking you questions, she likely fancies you. She wants to know everything about you, the places you have been to, the women you have dated, or your favourite meal. If she continually sends you a ton of text messages or always wants to talk to you, it is a sign that she might be into you.

  • She flirts with you- No straight woman will deliberately flirt with you, so watch out for this sign. Invite her out to the movies or ask her to have a drink with you, she will definitely get the message that you also like her.

  • She stares at you- If you notice that a certain girl or woman keeps stealing glances at you, that’s also a sign that she is interested in you. Make sure you catch her eyes and smile at her if you are also interested in her.

  • She always talks about her sexuality with you- If this woman is a co-worker, a friend, or a neighbour who still talks about her sexuality with you, she might be into you. If she makes comments like, ‘I haven’t discussed this with anyone before’ or ‘I find it so easy to talk to you about this.’ Encourage her and be bold enough to ask her to have a drink with you. 

  • She remembers every little detail about you- She knows every little thing about you or remembers everything you’ve told her about you. And always goes out of her way to do those things you love. That’s a huge hint!

  • She kisses you- Yeah, this one is pretty obvious! 

  • She always compliments you-It doesn’t matter to her if you are having a bad hair day; she still finds something good to say about you. She tells you that you have beautiful eyes or a pretty smile. Someone interested in you will always notice the good things about you and point them out to you. 

  • She continually says you are her dream girl- Another way to tell if a woman fancies you; is when she says those sweet things to you that make you go weak at the knees. 

  • She remembers your birthday- You may not be the only co-worker or neighbour she has, but she always remembers your birthday and does beautiful things for you. A straight woman who is your friend may remember your birthday too, and your co-workers may celebrate your birthday as a group. However, if she singlehandedly does something to surprise you, then she may be into you.

  • She always wants to sit with you- Does she always seek you out even if there are other women in the room? Hint! 

  • She licks her lips while talking to you- As cliché as this may sound, it is true. Watch her lips when she is talking to you, if she slightly pouts, bites or licks her lips, she likes you! 

  • She invites you to the movies or sends you a list of her favourite lesbian movies- If she sends you a list of her favourite movies. You should watch them or ask her to watch one with you because she likes you!

If you want to determine if a woman is interested in you, you should notice her body language, the way she flirts with you and compliments your looks. In conclusion, when a woman is interested in you, she will give you apparent signs like asking you a lot of questions, staring at you, remembering every little thing about you, etc.

Good luck!

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