Question

I’m a virgin, and I’ve never had sex before.
How can I overcome my fear of it?

The first thing you need to understand is that you get to decide what you want to be on the table. It’s your body, and the rules are set by you as well. You might feel like you should already have had sex, but if you don’t want to, you really don’t need any pressure into the activity.

Think about it this way; at the end of the day, you are the one having sex. If you’re not ready to be at that point, you can take a step back.

However, if you really fear penetration so much and you’re not sure how it will feel, then you can take some baby steps instead. It could be that you just need to get some practice, and masturbation is a great way to do this.

However, while you masturbate, you also need to be relaxed about it. Take deep breaths, and focus on your clitoris. This way, you can relax more and be calmer. Then, move towards your vaginal canal. Remember to take deep breaths and relax.

When you get to feel more comfortable on your own, then you can slowly bring your partner in as well. Take your time, and ensure that both you and your partner are feeling comfortable here. It could even begin with some calm and tender kissing, then let him penetrate you and see how it feels.

At the end of the day, you want to ensure that you are both calm and relaxed about the whole thing. Don’t push anything, but relax and take things in stride.

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