How to talk dirty to your partner

By Tuva Novar

Dirty talk is one of the most important tools a woman has in turning her partner on. It plays on the ability of your partner to visualize things and think them up, and it can get him mentally prepared for sex. 

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The biggest lie with dirty talk

A lot of women tend to believe that when they’re learning dirty talk, being aggressive is always the best fit. Well, you’ll be surprised to find that this isn’t still the case.

You could be at a bar and whisper to his ear, “If only you knew what I’d do to you if these guys weren’t here,” that alone can send his mind spinning out of control. While you didn’t particularly say anything outrageous, you’ll find that his mind will still continue to run wild with speculation. That, again, is the entire point of dirty talk.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here are some more tips to help you master the dirty talk art:

Start quickly and work your way up

If you’re starting with the dirty talk and you’re already getting explicit and intense. Then there’s a significant chance that you freak your partner out and lose the entire purpose of dirty talk just at the beginning. It’s even worse if you’ve not spoken about dirty talk, and he doesn’t particularly expect it from you.

So, you should instead introduce the entire dialogue slowly and do so in a way that’s not too extreme or explicit. As you start slowly, you can build things up from there.

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Start in private

Another important thing you’ll find is that introducing dirty talk is more comfortable (and feels even more natural when you do it alone- such as in the bedroom! This way, things feel more relaxed and less weird, and you can watch him getting turned on in real-time.

When you’re comfortable talking dirty to him when you’re in the comfort of your privacy, then you can look into doing it elsewhere. There’s hardly anything as sexually exciting as seeing the grin on your partner’s face when you lean over to his ear and whisper something nasty when you’re having drinks with friends!

Consider his needs

There’s no doubt to the fact that every guy loves dirty talk. Trust me, it’s true. Still, you will need to learn the phrases he likes the most. Some men prefer dirty talk to be subtle, so they can let their imagination take things from there. However, others prefer it and get turned on when you’re as explicit as possible.  

So, you could be home, and you say something as simple as, “I can’t wait to get you home.” Or, he could like something like, “I can’t wait to get you home, so I can suck you off and make you cum.”

See the difference? Great.

The key difference here is understanding the type of dirty talk that he likes, as you experiment and try different things.

Thankfully, there are various ways to get this done; you could send him a text and see how he reacts, or you could ask him some super erotic questions.

You could also take note of some of his sexual kinks, and see how you can play them to your dirty talk regimen.

Your dirty talk to turn your partner on

It would help if you kept in mind that you wish this to be erotic for you too. Sexy talk is a great precursor to sex, and you need to ensure that you’re being turned on as well. A lot of women tend to forget their needs. Make sure not to.

If you’re not okay with explicit language while you’re engaging in dirty talk or you don’t feel safe sending him erotic messages, then you don’t necessarily have to. However, you could try it out before deciding whether it’s excellent for you or not.

It’s completely natural to feel a tad nervous or shy when you want to start with dirty talk. However, as you try it more and more, and you see how your partner gets turned on from it, your confidence levels will rise, and you could get a sex high from it too.

Never force things

Well, it can’t get simpler than that. Dirty talk doesn’t have a definitive law that you need to follow to be valid; as long as it feels natural and not robotic, you should be fine.

So, if you try some dirty talk tips several times and you don’t see him get turned on like you would have liked, feel free to try something else! The entire process is more of a trial and error, and as you go along, you’ll see what works and what doesn’t. You know the best dirty words, and you know how to keep your partner wanting more.

As stated earlier, some women find that explicit talk is the best for their partners, while others have seen that their partners get turned on by subtle dirty talk. When you start to force things in the hopes that they’ll make him want you more, you’re putting yourself at risk of looking too desperate. At the end of the day, it’s less erotic for both of you.

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