The beginner’s guide to rough sex

By Tuva Novar

Rough sex is one of the many ways to spice things up in a relationship, as you introduce new and exciting elements to intercourse. However, there are some guidelines that you need to look out for as a beginner. Here is the beginner’s guide to rough sex:

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Talk about it before you go

Rough sex is a little different from what we do during conventional sex, so it’s important that you get consent from your partner before you begin. Whether you’ll be the one doing some of the kinky stuff or it’ll be him, you will both need to be on the same page about it, so some dialogue is required.

If it’s your fantasy, then letting your partner know what you want is a great way to make him see that you trust and love him enough to tell him about your fantasies. You should also be able to bring the idea up on a way that won’t look shameful. Anxiety is normal, but make sure it doesn’t get embarrassing.

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You can list the activities

Before you begin with the rough sex and all, you should go over some important ground rules. This way, it becomes easy to figure out what you and your partner will be comfortable doing.

When you’re doing this, make sure that you’re clear with the details. Let him know how you want your hair pulled and how you like the spanking to be. Since he’s concerned about giving you pleasure, you should at least let him know how he can go about it. Talk about what appeals to you, and you can also ask whether he wants you to reciprocate or not.

The beginner’s guide to rough sex

Always remember safety. This is one of the most important things about rough sex, of course. While excitement and spontaneity are required, you also need to ensure that what you’re doing is safe and secure. You can use safe words to indicate when things are getting a little too extreme.
Ease into it. When it comes to rough sex and elements of BDSM, it’s important that you take things slowly. You don’t want to jump into things, especially since this is your first time. You can start with simply tying your partner on the bed (or having him tie you up). Then, you can introduce blindfolds as well. Rubbing sex toys on your erogenous zones will also be a great asset for this to work.
Speed things up as you get more comfortable. As things move on, there’s no shame in ramping up the rough sex as well. It could be that you’re not getting turned on, or it could be that you want a little more. Just guide him gently, so he doesn’t become too overwhelming for you.

Depending on how you feel, have him go from soft to hard and from slow to fast.
Don’t fake anything. Apart from having to ensure safety and getting the right type of consent, you also need to know that rough sex doesn’t have any guidelines. You could get your orgasm earlier or later than usual, so just be free. Do what comes naturally to you, and enjoy the ride.
Of course, you also need to be considerate of your partner as well. Checkout how he’s enjoying it, and make tweaks where necessary.